yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
