just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize