they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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