I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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