yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
