he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
