I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
