just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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