okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
