Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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