Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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