Rock
Scissors
Fuck
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
