And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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