Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
