Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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