You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
