I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
