She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize