K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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