Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
