VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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