Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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