i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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