Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
