I look better un-naked...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
