wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
