I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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