My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
