Moan for me like Helen Keller
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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