3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
