It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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