I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
