I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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