But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
People in love make me want to vomit
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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