This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
