Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
