Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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