Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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