And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
