Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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