Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
