Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
