I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
