the day after is always just damage control
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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