We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
