But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize