bring money and cleavage
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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