Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
