Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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