When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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