I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
