But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
