It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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