I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
