I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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