YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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