I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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